How We Apply Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Marriage Counseling
Many couples struggle to communicate their attachment needs for love,
appreciation, and support.
It is difficult to express our heartfelt feelings when we feel vulnerable, especially when our vulnerabilities trigger fear of rejection, mistrust or fears that we are not lovable.
These fears prevent us from being authentic and communicating our needs softly and directly.
Instead, we tend to complain about what we do not get, blame and accuse our partner, and often are not fully aware how our words may hurt our relationship.
Our cry for love and connection becomes an angry outburst that often triggers the partner’s sense of insecurity of being inadequate or a failure.
In turn, the partner may lash back by accusing, shutting down or withdrawing.
As a result, the emotional connection that you as a couple long for is broken.
The partners often feel alone, unappreciated, unloved and not heard.
We get relationship struggles.
And we want to experience a great marriage!
Here is how we can help
As marriage therapists, we will help you create safety so you can express your heartfelt feelings in a way that your partner will hear and respond to you with love, appreciation, comfort, and support.
We will transform your confrontations into positive interactions by helping you express what you need from your partner instead of what you do not get so your partner does not feel accused; thus, able to hear you and respond to your needs.
We will also help you find your voice, face your fears, learn a new way of being and relating to your partner.
We will practice communication skills (empathic listening, clarifying, perception checking, assertiveness) and emotional regulation skills (positive affirmations, visualizations, deep breathing, grounding techniques) as well as learn
mindfulness and emotional intelligence skills.
Strengthening positive interactions between you and your partner will get you to reconnect with your partner on a deep emotional level and rebuild the bond that will last a lifetime.
How You Can Work with Us
To get the most out of the fewest appointments, we recommend weekly couples counseling sessions in our Vancouver, WA office.
Spreading out treatment with several weeks in between makes it harder to get progress because session time is used on new issues rather than addressing the root problem. Plus, delaying appointments only delays the time before you get the results you want.
Are you ready to start couples counseling?
We encourage you to schedule your counseling appointment online.
Not ready to schedule your first appointment yet?
Give us a call and we will be happy to answer your questions (360) 356-8756