NW Escape Experience

Physical adventure games in which players are locked in a room and must use the elements of the room to solve a series of puzzles and escape within a set time limit!

Where: 1503 NE 78th Street STE 7, Vancouver, WA
360-949-7921
When: Wednesday – Sunday: 12 p.m. – 9 p.m.
Monday – Tuesday: Closed
Cost: $30 per person, per room

Summer Reading 2019: A Universe of Stories

When: June 15-August 15, 2019
Ages: Teens through 18 years old

Sign up or log your reading online. Or, grab a paper log at your library and check out their reading challenges.

You can also track your reading with the Beanstalk Tracker app for Android and iOS.

Earn a prize for 15, 30, and 45 days of reading logged.

Grand Prizes: For all ages, earn an entry into the grand prize drawing at 15, 30, and 45 days of reading logged. One reader in each age group will win their choice of grand prizes:
OMSI Family Membership
Barnes and Noble Shopping Spree ($100 Gift Card)
Movie Marathon ($100 Gift Card to the movie theater of your choice)
Wonderworks Children’s Museum Family Membership
Sternwheeler Cruise ($125 Gift Card)

19th Century Saber Training Program Summer 2019

In 1845, Her Majesty’s Ship Modeste arrived to protect the British Empire and Hudson’s Bay Company interests in the Northwest. The training course will focus on the saber techniques employed by the Royal Navy at that time.

Where: 1001 E. Fifth St., Vancouver, WA (Inside the reconstructed Fort Vancouver).
When: Six weeks, on Wednesdays
Who: Ages 12 and up.
Cost: $75 per person
The training fee is payable to Academia Duellatoria by check or PayPal. Fees must be paid before the training sessions begin. Enrollment in the training is not guaranteed until payment is received.

Program Dates and Times:

Training sabers (sabers have dull edges and blunt tips) are provided.

Participants who successfully complete both the Basic 1 and Basic 2 training courses will have the opportunity to volunteer at living history events and programs at Fort Vancouver National Historic Site.

Contact & Registration
For more information, or to sign up, contact Jeff Richardson, Academia Duellatoria at (503) 888-9310.

Coding Camps with Code to the Future

Dive into the world of computer coding with Java, a professional coding language or Scratch, a block-based application developed at MIT.

Where: Firstenburg or Marshall Community Centers
When: June 24-28, July 8-12, and August 5-9 (week long, half-day)
Who: Ages 7-14
Cost: weekly fee $160 or $227

Go online to register for coding camps

Sky Zone in Vancouver, WA

Where: 5000 E. Fourth Plain Blvd
Vancouver WA 98661
When:
Monday – Thursday: 10:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.
Friday: 10:30 to 7:45 p.m.
Saturday: 9:00 to 7:45 p.m.
Sunday: 11:00 to 7:00 p.m.

Cost: Go online for pricing and ticket purchase. Tickets can also be purchased at the door.

LOCK-IN Luau at Sky Zone! (Recurring Event)

When: June 22 11:15 p.m., pickup June 23 at 6:00 a.m.
Go to website for pricing and ticket purchase

Price Includes: Lock-In Admission, pizza and fountain drink, Sky Zone Glow Shirt

Does your teen get angry easily? As a parent, are you feeling concerned, discouraged, or powerless?

Now that school is out, it may be a great time to address your concerns.

Not getting help with managing anger is costly; it may result in poor grades, fewer friendships, and low self-esteem. At Integrity Counseling, our counselors work closely with parents and teens to identify what is behind the anger. Counselors help teens learn coping skills to deal with anger. We can work with your teen to strengthen the family connection for a happier and more peaceful home. Consider working with one of our experienced counselors in Vancouver, WA.

Or, call this number 360 356 8756 to schedule a session today.

Make an appointment today and watch your teen’s ability to manage anger improve.

We look forward to meeting you and your family!

It’s summertime, ready to kid around? Check out these things to do with kids in Vancouver, Washington.

Some are free! (Free is good!) Some are one-time activities and others re-occur throughout the year.

Did you know that Pearson Airfield is the oldest operating air field in the Pacific Northwest? My 8-year old grandson and I spent an entire Saturday here recently – we had so much fun!

Pearson Field Education Center

Experience STEM education through aviation!

Where: a hangar on Pearson Field

201 A East Reserve Street, Vancouver WA 98661

When: Every Saturday from 10am-5pm (year round)

Cost: Free

At the Pearson Field Education Center kids of all ages can practice flying using a flight simulator lab and build their own glider. Launch your glider in the field next to the hangar using rubber band propulsion. View historic airplanes and collections on display and sit in the cockpit of an airplane.

Reading is cool!

Make reading a daily habit and earn prizes! In addition to the reading challenge, visit your library this summer for performances and activities. See website for a calendar of events at your library.

Summer Reading 2019: A Universe of Stories

When: June 15-August 15, 2019.

Go to the library’s website to sign up or log your reading

For extra fun, grab a paper log at your library and check out their reading challenges.

You can also track your reading on the go with the Beanstack Tracker app on Android and iOS.

Kids and Teens, through 18 years old, can earn a prize for 15, 30, and 45 days of reading logged.

All Ages can earn an entry into the grand prize drawing at 15, 30, and 45 days of reading logged.

One reader in each age group will win their choice of grand prizes!

Kids, take mom or dad to Chuck’s for some fun stories and snacks or snacks and games!

Chuck’s Produce and Grocery

Tropical Kids

Where: Chuck’s Produce

13215 SE Mill Plain Blvd.

Vancouver, WA 98684

When: June 26^th from 11 – 2 p.m. (check website for recurring events)

Bring the kids for this fun and free event: games, popcorn, cotton candy, snow cones, photo opportunity, cupcake walk and more!

Story Time and Snacks

Where: Chuck’s Produce

2302 NE 117th Street

Vancouver, WA. 98686

When: June 26^th, from 10:30-11:00 a.m. (check website for recurring events)

All classes are free to the public. Please call 360-597-2160 or visit the customer service counter to sign up.

Chelatchie Prairie Railroad

Ride a steam train and experience a train robbery with a stop at Yacolt Falls!

Where: 207 Railroad Ave, Yacolt, WA 98675

Check out their website for the full schedule of events, prices and to purchase tickets.

The Source Climbing Center

Where: 1118 Main Street, Vancouver, WA 98660

Phone: (360) 694-9096

PRESCHOOL OPEN GYM

Introduce your children (ages 2-4) to rock climbing! A fun place to run on padded floors, try climbing on 8-10’ bouldering walls and dare the spiral slide, while mom or dad encourage them!

When: Wednesdays, 10-11 a.m.

Cost: $9 per child.

WEEK LONG SUMMER CAMPS

Does your child, ages 5-12, love climbing? Send them to summer camp where they’ll be challenged on 36’ climbing walls, high ropes courses and action-based games and activities.

When: mid-June through mid-August

Space is limited, go to the website for prices and to register online to save your space!

Is your child struggling with behavior problems? As a parent, are you feeling concerned, frustrated, discouraged, or powerless?

Now that school is out it may be a great time to address your concerns.

Children may be unable to put their thoughts and feelings into words. At Integrity Counseling, we work closely with parents to help children reduce feelings of anger and sadness and increase feelings of self-worth.

Therapy can help parents support and connect with their child.  Consider working with one of our experienced counselors in Vancouver, WA.

Or, call this number 360 356 8756 to schedule a session today.

Make an appointment today and watch your child’s confidence and feelings of self-worth soar!

We look forward to meeting you and your family!

Screen time for both teens and adults is taking a lot of time away from activities we used to enjoy.

The most disturbing results of too much screen time are decreased time with family and friends, the risk of obesity and a negative effect on mental health.

Consider this dad’s story about his teenage son:

“We gathered with extended family to celebrate our daughter’s birthday. Suddenly, my dad asked, where’s Jack? At 6’ 2” our son was difficult to miss. I found him upstairs playing games on his iPad. My parents had traveled several hours from Eugene and I saw the look of disappointment on their faces when Jack returned to the kitchen and sat in silence. It appeared he would rather get lost in a video game than celebrate with family.”

In our society today, excessive use of devices with screens is the norm instead of the exception.

We all want the teens in our lives to practice healthy habits now and experience good mental, social and physical health.

It’s important for parents to know how often their teen uses screen devices.

You are likely well aware that your teen is spending too much time on their screen.  But still consider the following questions to evaluate what is too much time focused on screens for your teen:

• Does texting continue after your teen goes to bed?
• Are your teen’s grades slipping?
• Has participation in real life activities decreased?
• Does your teen seem anxious or irritable, or have trouble sleeping?
• Does he or she complain of muscle pain or tired or dry eyes?

Screen time should be a privilege, not a right.

You can guide your teen’s screen use and help him or her to see how technology can enhance life, not complicate it.

Establishing a plan with clear guidelines will allow your teen to participate in something they enjoy but not at the expense of their mental, social and physical health.

Consider these 5 tips to create a plan to manage your teen’s screen time:

• Create a technology agreement together that discusses the amount of time and when it is okay to use screen devices.

Do homework and household chores first.

Turn off or mute phones 30 minutes before bedtime.

• Schedule screen free family time and screen free zones in your life.

Consider no phone time in the car to allow room for a great conversation with your teen.

Participate in an activity your family enjoys.

Charge the phone in the kitchen during the night.

• Discourage multi-tasking.

Put the phone away while doing homework to be more productive.

Encourage the whole family to set aside phones during a family movie or show.

• Put screen devices away and turn off the television at dinner time.

Provide an opportunity for conversation and reconnecting with your teen.

• Set an Example for your Teen

Put your phone away when helping with homework or spending time with family.

Take steps now to encourage your teen to prioritize sleep, school, relationships and physical activity.

It is completely possible for you to help your teen learn healthy habits now that will benefit him or her later in life. Learning new habits takes time and you may not see change overnight. It will take consistency to encourage new behavior.

At Integrity Counseling in Vancouver, WA, we offer family therapy to help parents become better at setting guidelines with their teens.  

Our family therapists help parents learn the tools to promote positive behavior.

You will find more cooperation and less frustration as you communicate the importance of prioritizing screen time and activities which will result in a more satisfying relationship with your teen.

If you are considering family counseling in Vancouver, WA,

Or, call 360-356-8756, extension 1 to schedule a teen counseling session today!

Many of the parents we meet share that they struggle with getting their teen to talk.  They report that attempts at conversations are met with one or two-word answers.

Perhaps for you, it goes like this – your teen doesn’t talk to you unless he or she needs something. Even then the conversation is mostly one-sided, as if you the parent, were on a “need to know basis.”

You’ve probably heard that this was normal and your teen would grow out of it. Unfortunately, when we accept the status quo with those we love we tend to lose ground. Before we know it, we hardly know the teenager who once reached for our hand to cross the street.

Consider this mom’s story with her teenage boy:

“My son went from bedroom to school to kitchen to bedroom every night. I made dinner and he “wasn’t hungry.” Or, he had homework, which was usually true so how could I be upset about him not spending a few minutes with me?

One day I thought, what is important to him? I realized there were a few TV shows he never missed. So, the next time his show was on, armed with a bowl of buttery popcorn, I plopped myself in the chair next to him. During commercials, I asked him about the storyline and characters. I listened and he talked. Afterward, I commented about something I liked about the show. He seemed surprised.”

The truth is, a lot of parents of teens struggle with meaningful communication. However, we can learn to set up conversations with our teens so everybody wins. When we listen more than we talk it is entirely possible our teens will begin to see we are on their side and find us trustworthy to confide in.

You want to be one of your teen’s primary guides into adulthood! Build on your relationship with your teen now! Take initiative and meaningful conversations with your teens can continue into adulthood.

Consider these 4 easy steps to set up your conversations for success:  

• Ask open-ended questions and follow up with “tell me more”
• Go on a walk or car ride
• Prepare a meal or go to their favorite restaurant
• Find something that interests your teen and join them

Here at Integrity Counseling, we work with parents to become better at focusing on quality conversations. It’s completely possible for you to improve communication with your teen and watch your relationship grow.

Your attempt at quality conversations with your teen may not happen overnight. It will take time to practice listening more than talking and asking your teen to “tell you more.” But with guidance from our counselors and making time for meaningful conversations, you will find that communication increases resulting in a more satisfying relationship with your teen.

Or, call 360-356-8756, extension 1 to schedule a session today

Kindness in marriage sometimes feels like a tug a war – if you’re kind to me, I’ll be kind to you. Sound familiar?

The not-so-big news regarding this stance is, no one wins.

We all know marriage is hard work. Do you remember the sting of a careless word when a kind word could have softened the bad news? Or the site of men leaving Costco with long stemmed roses and the skip in your heart is a reminder your Valentine will forget again.

The downside to the lack of kindness in a marriage adds up and it may seem you’ll never get back to the love you once knew. Conversations about the weather and what’s needed at the grocery store leave you feeling like roommates. Not only does living without kindness erode love in a marriage but it’s easy to lose sight of the role we play in it.

Would you like to feel noticed? Appreciated? Cared for?

Responding with kind words and actions can build trust. It can also symbolize your commitment to your spouse and your marriage. Trust and commitment are the foundation of a solid marriage where two people are emotionally connected and want what’s best for each other.

Perhaps kindness has always been second nature for you but over the years your effort wasn’t reciprocated. The kindness well has run dry and you feel like you have nothing left to give. It’s normal to struggle when feeling you are always the giver.

However, we can take simple steps towards kindness and be the change we would like to see in our relationships. Taking ownership allows us to become an active participant instead of letting things just happen.

Here are a few steps that can cultivate kindness in your marriage:

Kindness puts the other person’s needs first. Agree in your mind to be kind, your heart will follow.

Kindness makes the first move. Unlike the selfish tug-a-war, kindness doesn’t wait for someone else to go first but intentionally chooses moments to be kind.

Leave a note, send a text or do a chore that you wouldn’t normally do. Think about what would make your spouse’s heart smile and do that.

Kindness comforts. Kind words and actions assure your spouse you are on the same side, that no matter what problems you have you’re in this together.

Plan ahead for tense conversations, you know they’ll happen. Take a breath and respond with kindness.

Your actions or words of kindness may not be reciprocated. You may not notice anything different in the moment. Until one day, you catch your spouse being kind and the hard places in your life soften. And being kind becomes something you do without thinking. Life takes on a new perspective and you see a change in you.

If you are looking for a couples counselor in Vancouver, WA, consider working with one of our experienced marriage therapists.

Our marriage counselors effectively use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to increase a couple’s emotional connection. This effective therapy is based on 25 years of research. We’ve helped hundreds of couples at Integrity Counseling and would like to make a difference in your relationship.

Make a counseling appointment today and watch your love grow!

 
We all know that being a teenager is not easy. Teens have to deal with navigating their way in the world while undergoing monumental physical, emotional, and social changes.

Powerful new emotions make teens feel alienated from others, including themselves. They sometimes just don’t know why they feel sad or anxious or angry.

Because of changes in their brain, they can respond to some events in their life with very strong emotions and sometimes some harmful choices. We’ve all heard many heartbreaking stories of teens self-medicating with substances, experimenting with risky sexual behavior, or worst of all, committing suicide.

What we also know that if we expose our young people to positive, supportive environments, they will flourish. This is where mentors come in.

A mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor. We as parents are mentors to our kids to a point, but you are likely to agree that you cannot be all to your teen. The more I work with teens the more I am convinced that every teenager should have a non-parent mentor in their life.  Here are three reasons why!

1. Teens don’t always want to open up to their parents about their struggles.

Adolescence is a time when teens differentiate from their parents. Sometimes there is no right thing that a parent can do in a teenager’s eyes. I am sometimes puzzled by how I can connect with the most difficult teen in my office but struggle to connect with my teen daughters at home.

I’ve worked with some wonderful families where teens just don’t want to open up to their parents. At the same time, they think their coach, youth leader, or teacher are the coolest people in the world. The teens look up to them! They risk opening up their hearts to them!

Somehow our teens are prone to think that we are from a different world and won’t understand. Just the other day one of my daughters commented to me, “You just don’t know how teens think. You just don’t get it.” My husband jumped in, “You would think that after working with teens for 16 years, your mother might know a little bit about teens.” Not in my daughter’s opinion.

The point is, no matter how cool of parents we think we are, our teens are not likely to come only to us for guidance on all the issues in their life. And you don’t want them only to seek advice from their friends.

2. Your teen’s friends don’t have the wisdom, life experience, and brain maturity to consistently guide your adolescent in making healthy choices.

It’s great if your teen has supportive close friends who listen and encourage her or him. Opening up to a friend is better than keeping all struggles to yourself. 

At the same time, it’s also good if your teen has a trusted adult they can open up to beside their friends.

Wisdom often comes with age and life experience. Your teen’s friends are still teens themselves without the necessary life experience to make consistently good decisions.

Neuroscience also tells us that teen’s brain is still maturing. Your teen’s friend’s problem-solving and strategy-planning skills are still developing.

And the third reason why your teen should have a mentor is…

3. Sometimes you need other adults to see your teen’s greatness.

There are times when we as parents are so exhausted dealing with our teen’s attitudes or emotional ups and downs, that it’s hard to notice how great they are.

We can lose sight of our teen’s gifts and talents. If you’ve ever talked to other parents of teens, you most likely heard more about their kids’ problems than successes.

That’s why it helps to have an adult mentor who: cares about your teen, notices the great things about him or her, and helps bring those qualities out. A mentor can easily spot awesome things about your teen because they are on the outside of your family and don’t have to live with your prickly teenager.

Just in the last few weeks, some youth leaders shared some positive insights about my daughters that helped me to see my girls in a new light. I am so thankful these people see my girls’ strengths and build them up.

So, where do you find a mentor for your teen?

Start out by looking around for healthy adults that your family already knows. Consider whether they share your family values. Encourage your teen to spend time with them. Ask this adult whether they would be open to hang out and get an ice cream cone with your teen.

As a teen counselor, I have seen the following people be awesome mentors to adolescents:

• Relatives
• Teachers
• Youth Leaders
• Coaches
• Family Friends
• Adopted “Grandparents”

Here is what one mother shared when asked who her teenage daughter’s mentor is:

“Her coach. He brings out the best in her, and he sparks the joy in her sport. My girl has played volleyball since she was 8 (now 14) and this is the absolute, hands down, best coach she’s ever had. He pulled her aside and got on her about a grade (caused her to go from an F to a B!!). Love this guy! So thankful for him!!! He will kick her ass and tell her how important she is all at the same time!”

One teenage boy shared the following about his former basketball coach being his mentor:

“I call him when something major is happening in my life. He might not answer right away but he calls back. He listens. He really hammered it into me that I need to take responsibility for my part in things. He encouraged me not to blame but work on my stuff and my skills. He got me into thinking ‘how can I continue to improve.’ This ‘taking responsibility’ thing is really going to help me when I am older.”

You are probably thinking, “I want those coaches to be in my teen’s life!”

What is a difference between a teen counselor and a teen mentor?

In some ways, the relationship between an adolescent and a teen therapist and an adolescent and a teen mentor look similar.

Common struggles faced by teens that are helped by counseling could also be addressed with a mentor (relationship difficulties with parents or peers, making decisions about college, or figuring out how to stay motivated in a class that is not fun).

As your teen wrestles with the challenges and choices in his or her life, both a counselor and a mentor can be instrumental in guiding your teen in their character formation.

Both a good counselor and a good mentor will not take away from your role as a parent but will enhance it.

Both counseling and mentoring can be very effective (or non-effective).

The two relationships are different in a few ways.

Counseling is a formal relationship. Mentoring is an informal relationship. Your teen meets with a counselor by appointment and in the office. In most counseling sessions, your teen and the counselor will be working on specific goals.

Meeting with a mentor can be on the phone or at a coffee shop. Sometimes they might be focused on the goals your teen is working on or sometimes it’s just a conversation between two friends.

Mentoring is commonly a long-term relationship, while a counselor is in your teen’s life for a short period of time. A counselor gives your teen tools and helps him or her problem-solve life challenges.

It’s definitely easier to find a skilled teen therapist than to find a solid mentor for your adolescent. It is best for you to look for a mentor when things are pretty smooth with your teen and you have time ponder and discuss who that mentor figure can be. When a crisis hits, your best bet is to find a caring teen and family counselor.

If your teen is self-harming or suicidal, you should definitely consider a professional counselor even if your teen has an amazing mentor. The training and experience of a teen and family counselor will be vital in those circumstances.

Be on the lookout for that special mentor for your teenager!

If you think your teen needs counseling support right away, please call our Vancouver, WA office for a FREE initial parent consultation (360 356 8756) or schedule an appointment online with one of our teen therapists:

Not ready to schedule your first appointment yet?

Give us a call and we will be happy to answer your questions (360) 356-8756

Rates information is here.

We look forward to meeting you and your family!

Are you maxed out by stress and anxiety? Living with persistently high levels of anxiety can take its toll, impacting your ability to sleep at night, to concentrate at work, or to slow down enough to truly relax. Sometimes anxiety becomes so miserable that people will do anything they can to avoid the things that trigger it. With anxiety this intense, it makes sense why people come to counseling wanting to diminish it. It makes sense why they might view it as an enemy that has caused harm.

But what if anxiety sometimes exists to help you out? What if it gets louder and louder, intensifying until it gets your attention? What if you could listen closely to its underlying message to find relief? What if anxiety were your friend, a loyal ally, trying to help?

This is exactly the perspective on anxiety taken by renowned author and speaker, Karla McLaren in her book, “The Language of Emotions.”  Karla suggests that the different shades of anxiety offer different “gifts.”

The feeling of FEAR offers the gifts of:

• Intuition
• Instinct
• Focus
• Clarity
• Attentiveness
• Readiness
• Vigor

According to Karla, FEAR asks the question: “What action should be taken?” FEAR helps you orient to novelty or change. If you’re in a new situation, new place, or around new people, it would make sense why FEAR might be needed so that you can adjust to all of this newness and whatever it might hold. What if you were able to listen to your fear, honor your gut instincts, and allow it to help you be prepared?

Sometimes, when you ask the question, “What action should be taken,” the answer you come back with is “no action” (such as when you’re lying awake at night and it’s not a time for action or more work). You might thank your FEAR for helping remind you of your unfinished business and then tap into the coping techniques that help you with letting go:

• Deep breathing
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation
• Prayer
• Journaling
• Meditation

WORRY offers a slightly different set of gifts (per Karla McLaren):

• Foresight
• Focus
• Conscience
• Task-Completion
• Procrastination alert-system

The questions Karla suggests asking yourself when you’ve noticed yourself feeling WORRIED are: “What triggered this feeling?” and “What really needs to be done?” WORRY helps you to prioritize what’s most important to you, if you allow yourself to genuinely reflect on what that might be. It might also help alert you for a need to set more boundaries, to say “no” to something that isn’t as much of a priority than it initially seemed.

Karla suggests that even PANIC might have something valuable to offer, including the gifts of:

• Sudden energy
• Fixed attention
• Absolute stillness
• Healing from trauma

The feeling of PANIC might alert you to something from the past that has been “frozen in time,” needing healing. A counselor can help you better understand and process triggers for PANIC episodes and how to navigate them effectively.

Let me illustrate how listening to your anxiety and its messages might help you:

On the 4th of July, I spent two hours outside my house hearing fireworks explode like surround-sound around me from every direction. Cluing into my body, I observed feelings of fear, anxiety, worry, and panic (and some other emotions in between) in varying intensity throughout the event.

As the light outside began to grow dim and the intensity of fireworks escalated to war-zone intensity, my body tensed up and stayed that way for at least an hour. At first, my thoughts went to– “What’s wrong with me that I’m so afraid right now? Why can’t I relax?” It took some time, but I was eventually able to try out thanking my emotions, my fear. Then, I began to probe–What good thing can I thank them for? How are they serving me right here, right now?

The first response came immediately. Fear was giving me the gift of focused attention and readiness to cover my face in a heartbeat should a stray firework hurl my way. It oriented me to fireworks exploding behind me, out-of-sight, helping me assess how close I was to danger.

And yet, I continued to jump at every unexpected explosion. Panic was triggered by the big booms. My breath felt more shallow in those moments. There was a slight tightness in my chest. I asked myself, what’s been frozen in time? I remember last year when a neighbor across the street allowed their 3-year-old to shoot of a Roman Candle that flew mere feet from hitting my family. That was a true safety hazard, but I was jumpy around fireworks before that, so I decided to dig deeper.

I remember a family member lighting off fireworks when I was a child rather haphazardly. I remember a fire being ignited in a field that the fire department had to come put out. When I ask myself what needs to be healed, I have a sense that my boundaries back then got squashed, even laughed at. My fear was told it was invalid, wrong, and silly.

What needs to be healed? I need to honor my need for boundaries. As a child, my fear grew stronger when boundaries were denied. My fear kept me ever vigilant because I wasn’t permitted to keep at a safe distance without teasing. As a grown-up now, I can make friends with my fear. My instincts are good. I can use my fear to assess my neighbors for haphazard behaviors with their fireworks. I can set boundaries by moving myself to a safe distance if they’re doing crazy things.

If you’d like help understanding and coping with anxiety more effectively, a counselor is able to help.

From the Author: Ericka Martin

I want to thank Integrity Counseling Center for letting me make a special guest appearance on their blog. Olya Pavlishina, with Integrity Counseling Center, also wrote a terrific article, 3 Tips For Managing Technology With Your Teen,” which I’ve posted on my own website at www.starmeadowcounseling.com.

Expressive Therapy uses different modalities such as paint, poetry, journaling, clay, and sand-tray to express emotion and access parts of our brain that are sometimes in “lockdown”.

How can Expressive Therapy help my teen?

Teens can often be in “lockdown”. Sometimes conventional talk therapy alone does not do the trick! Expressive therapy can help unlock emotions in a new way.

1. Expressive Therapy EMPOWERS teens

Being a teenager is a transformative time. This time of becoming can be confusing and overwhelming.

Emotions have a way of storing themselves in our bodies. Fatigue, emotional outbursts, depression can all be signs that emotions are building up inside and are having a hard time releasing.

Through Expressive Therapy, teens can use other parts of their brains to explore their emotions. By given the freedom to express their pain, fear, sadness in other forms can sometimes unlock and release the emotions where words get stuck. This in turn, empowers your teenager.

Expressive Therapy gives your teen a safe space to express their true feelings.

2. Expressive Therapy allows CREATIVITY to heal

Teens have so much going on in their lives. Finding their place, balancing school, friends, family, can all be overwhelming and add stress.

Expressive Therapy allows your teen space and resources to create and explore their needs in a way that is effective and open.

Your teen may choose to bring in their musical instrument and create music about what is going on in their life.

Or perhaps your teen may find it helpful to use paints to explore their pain and tell a story.

Using our creative brains and allowing freedom to explore and create is a healing and effective way of exploring emotion.

3. RELEASE powerful feelings safely through Expressive Therapy

We know that stress, trauma, and anxiety can be stored in the body.

At times, talk therapy is not effective enough in itself to work through those powerful emotions.

Using Expressive Therapy, we work to access emotion that is stored in our bodies, and then find ways to release it in a healthy safe way.

Teens have found empowerment and voice when able to paint their fears, or use clay or sand tray to represent their sadness.

Expressing and releasing does not have to use words. A goal of Expressive Therapy is to be able to access those powerful feelings in safety. And then your teen is supported in releasing them in an expressive way like journaling, using clay, paint, or music.

4. Expressive Therapy offers new ways to COMMUNICATE

Teens can have their own language. It can be hard to understand their inner world.

Parents often try to figure out what is going on inside their teen’s mind and heart and the language barrier can sometimes make it so teens can close up even tighter.

Expressive Therapy allows teens to communicate in ways in which they feel comfortable. It may be through poetry, it may be through music.

Expressive therapy uses art forms and other modalities as tools for teens to share themselves and be heard and understood.

Sometimes teens themselves have trouble understanding their own pain, they themselves may not know what is going on inside their bodies and minds.

Expressive Therapy opens the door to other forms of communication to help teens unlock and discover parts of themselves in a new way.

5. Expressive Therapy helps you and your teen CONNECT

When emotions are swirling around inside of you, it can be hard to create meaning or move through the pain. Expressive Therapy works to connect dots.

Perhaps a teen is having trouble finding themselves. Using creative journaling, the therapist can help the teen identify and create meaning in their lives.

Together the therapist and the teen can explore emotions, create meaning, empower and release fears by using a mixture of modalities.

Our brains and bodies are complicated beautiful vessels, there are many ways we can get in touch with our feelings and work through our pain towards healing.

Expressive Therapy works to unlock stored feelings and then together, the therapist and the teen can connect meaning and healing.

Expressive therapy can connect your teen to themselves, and help them connect to you.

Using Expressive Therapy in family counseling works as a common language. This can look like a family using sand tray together, a family art project, or family poetry.

Together we can access healing in an expressive and creative way!

Are you ready to explore how expressive therapy can help your teen and your family?

Once a week therapy sessions for your teen and your family are highly recommended.

This gives your teen and your family enough time to apply your new skills to everyday life and less time to slip back into unhelpful patterns.

Experience tells us that spreading out appointments draws out the process of overcoming struggles and ultimately results in more sessions needed.

Your teen can be in a better place!

Why not start the process today by scheduling online? We have the day, evening, and weekend appointments available for your convenience.

Not ready to schedule your first appointment yet?

Give us a call and we will be happy to answer your questions (360) 356-8756

Rates information is here.

We look forward to meeting you!

Stress is a built-in warning system telling you that something needs your attention. Just like a car dashboard lights up to signal that something is wrong, stress alerts you to pay attention to your body and environment.

Stress often communicates that there is going to be a problem. It gives you a chance to react to circumstances before things potentially get worse. Ignoring these signs can lead to more emotional chaos, greater physical symptoms and even illness.

Small stresses, left unchecked, pile up and threaten to wreak havoc in our lives. Then, when a large stress hits us like a sudden storm, we’re left reeling, struggling to regain our footing.
Some people tend to ignore their personal stress signals while others tend to worry about their stress which creates more stress.

Neither of these tactics benefits you or work in your favor. If your stress is triggering on a regular basis, it is time to identify it, give it the attention it needs, and combat it accordingly.
Just like you wouldn’t ignore your car’s warning signals for too long, you shouldn’t ignore the signs that your body is giving you about your stress level.

How do you react when you are late for a meeting, have to make a big decision, or get a behavior notice from your child’s teacher? Do you sense a tension in your body? Do you experience the sudden onset of a headache, tight muscles, or irritability?

Take your body’s stress signals and use them to your favor. Rather than respond in a way that increases your stress, choose a path that decreases it.

Something as simple as taking a 5-minute break alone, a quick walk around the block, or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air can significantly reduce the stressful impact.

Let your body be your guide in the moment.

2. Let stress be a motivator

In his article “The Science Behind Relentless Breakthroughs,” author Brian Lee states, “While most of us crave a degree of stability, a life without challenges robs you of your fighting spirit and motivation.”

Stress, if you let it, can cause you to look at different options, see alternate outcomes, and increase your performance. Rather than dreading an upcoming work presentation or telling yourself, you won’t meet an important deadline, let stress motivate you to focus on the outcome you desire.

We all know it’s important to reduce stress and make sure it doesn’t stay around too long because it drains our energy. But you can use stress-in-the-moment to your advantage.

Say, for example, that you have several projects with looming deadlines come across your desk all at once. Or it is a back-to-school season for your kids and your calendar is crammed with after-school activities, social invites, and more carpooling than you imagine is possible. Maybe it’s an exciting season of planning a wedding while trying to juggle your full-time job and a new relationship with your future in-laws.

Whatever the season of stress, resolve to face it head-on. Get organized with detailed calendars, apps that create lists for you, or good old-fashioned sticky notes. Rise to the challenge rather than let the stress overwhelm you like a tidal wave and shut you down. Remember, the stress is for a season and you can not only manage it but perform well and come out on top!

3. Respond with kindness when experiencing stress

So you are getting better at recognizing your stress and are learning how to let it motivate positive changes in your life.

Now it is time to be kind to yourself; to take the information stress provides and develop different or new self- care habits.
Oftentimes we extend grace to others and give everyone around us a break, but rarely do we do this for ourselves. Eventually, we won’t do that for others if we don’t do it for ourselves.

It is easy to run low on compassion and empathy–even becoming resentful of those closest to us who need us–all because we’re not taking care of ourselves.

Wondering how compassionate you are for yourself and what areas you could improve in? Take this quiz to find out and learn ways to be more self-compassionate.

In the age of blogs, podcasts, and apps, developing new habits of better self-care is easy.

For example, the Calm app guides you through quick calming techniques and offers reminders to breathe.

If you’re a blog reader, The Blissful Mind is a great one to help you create balance, routines, and identify priorities.

If you struggle with decision fatigue and are generally overwhelmed due to a busy life or season, the podcast, The Next Right Thing is perfect for you.

There are many great blogs, apps, and podcasts out there that offer all types of ideas to simplify your life and manage stress. Find one that works for you!

4. Let stress lead you to positive, long-lasting change

Let it lead you to new discoveries about yourself.

Let it uncover strength you didn’t know you had.

History is full of ordinary people doing extraordinary things under great stress and against considerable odds. We remember these heroes not only for their successes but also because they let their hardships and victories shape their character.

While self-help strategies and books are great, take this opportunity to consider how therapy might be able to help you create long-term change.

It can help you identify ineffective coping patterns and self-destructive habits that you might not even see in yourself.

It can help you create new goals and develop the lifestyle changes needed to meet those goals.

It can lead you to make wonderful discoveries about yourself or situation that you couldn’t see before.

Recently, a client with overwhelming anxiety and debilitating panic attacks sought help to identify the stressful triggers in her life.

Through our work together, she realized that her job, while fulfilling at one point, was now adding undue stress and increasing her anxiety. She decided she was in a position to quit her job and focus primarily on her schooling. This was a turning point. She noticed immediately the feeling of burdens lifting off her as she made the decision to eliminate stressful triggers.

While not everyone may be able to quit their job, or completely eliminate every stressful trigger, you can work to mitigate the effects of stress and gain greater control over your life. Sometimes it’s hard to identify these things on your own, but with the help of a therapist, you can discover new ideas.

5. Use stress to gain control of things in your life

While you can’t control everything that comes your way or what others do to you, you can focus on those things that are yours to control.

For instance, you can learn to control how things affect you and what you will allow to continue in your life. You get to decide what you need to cut out because it’s no longer healthy or no longer serves a purpose.

Gaining a sense of control over something in our lives is a powerful feeling in a world where so much is out of our control.

For example, you may find that you experience anxiety over something bad happening to your child or loved one. You are constantly controlled by thoughts of “what if?” or “it’s just a matter of time before something bad happens to me or my family.”

A powerful and often overlooked practice to combat this type of stress is that of gratitude. Identifying what you have to be thankful for changes your perspective and helps you focus on what you have, rather than what you lack or what could be taken from you.

Try an app like the 5 Minute Journal to help you cultivate this simple, yet life-changing practice.

While there are different types of stress, small and big, things of our own making or things that happen to us, you can allow stress to be the catalyst that moves you into new seasons of learning and growth.

Stress often forces us to make necessary adjustments in our lives; but it can be for the better!

As you may already know, an epidemic of self-harm is occurring among teens.

Adolescents and even preteens are engaging in self-injury in record numbers.

Over 10% of our youth are thought to have experimented with cutting or other forms of self-mutilation.

What should you look for?

Since adolescents usually make an effort to cover up their self-harming behaviors, it can be tricky to confirm that a problem exists.

Being observant is key to uncovering early signs of self-harm.

Here is what you are looking for:

1. An abnormal number of cuts/burns on the wrists, arms, legs, hips or stomach;
2. A habit of wearing of long sleeves and pants even in warm weather;
3. Razors or knives left in strange locations;
4. Your teen locked away for long periods of time in their bedroom or bathroom;
5. Frequent ‘accidents’ that cause physical injury;
6. Stories or actual evidence that your teenager’s friends are self-mutilating;
7. Reluctance to be part of a social circle or social event.

How should you respond?

• Take the problem seriously. Acknowledge that this behavior is a cry for help and not simply attention-seeking behavior.
• Approach your teen calmly and lovingly. Reacting angrily may push your teen away.
• Listen to your child if they are ready to talk. Respond to their concerns with understanding and compassion.
• Express your love and concern to your teen.
• Seek professional help.

Can family therapy help with self-harm?

Research shows the most effective way to help a teen move past self-injury is individual and family therapy with an experienced counselor.

It is important to ask questions of a potential therapist to discover their process and success with helping other teens.

It also means that you, too, have the opportunity to see your teen heal when you participate in family therapy sessions.

A good counselor assists in opening up family communication that so often becomes closed down when your child enters their teens.

Can self-harm behavior become a chronic problem?

Self-injury is a behavior that over time becomes habitual, chronic and repetitive.

Like any of us with a bad habit, most self-harmers have a hard time saying “no” to their behavior – even when they realize it is unhealthy.

Once an adolescent is in the cycle of self-injury, the smallest things might trigger self-harm behaviors.

The best time to take action is now!

Connect with one of our teen counselors today!

Not ready to schedule your first appointment yet?

Give us a call and we will be happy to answer your questions (360) 356-8756

Rates information is here.

We look forward to meeting you and your family!