How I Apply Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Marriage Counseling
Many couples struggle to communicate their attachment needs for love, appreciation and support. It is difficult to express our heartfelt feelings when we feel vulnerable, especially when our vulnerabilities trigger fear of rejection, mistrust or fears that we are not lovable. These fears prevent us from being authentic and communicating our needs softly and directly.
Instead we tend to complain about what we do not get, blame and accuse our partner, and often are not fully aware how our words may hurt our relationship. Our cry for love and connection becomes an angry outburst that often triggers the partner’s sense of insecurity of being inadequate or a failure. In turn, the partner may lash back by accusing, shutting down or withdrawing. As a result, emotional connection that couples are longing for is broken. The couples often feel alone, unappreciated, unloved and not heard.
As a marriage therapist, I will help you create safety so you can express your heartfelt feelings in a way that your partner will hear and respond to you with love, appreciation, comfort and support.
We will transform your confrontations into positive interactions by helping you express what you need from you partner instead of what you do not get so your partner does not feel accused; thus, able to hear you and respond to your needs.
I will also help you find your voice, face your fears, learn a new way of being and relating to your partner. We will practice communication skills (empathic listening, clarifying, perception checking, assertiveness) and emotional regulation skills (positive affirmations, visualizations, deep breathing, grounding techniques) as well as learn mindfulness and emotional intelligence skills.
Solidifying positive interactions between you and your partner will get you to reconnect with your partner on a deep emotional level and rebuild the bond that will last a lifetime.
Are you ready to start couples counseling?
I encourage you to schedule your counseling appointment online.
Not ready to schedule your first appointment yet?
Give us a call and we will be happy to answer your questions (360) 356-8756
Rates information is here.
I look forward to meeting you!
Jasmine Schupp, LMHCA
What my clients say:
“I found Jasmine very easy to talk to. She was very non-intimidating and I felt like it was ok to be honest with her from the beginning of our time together. She never seemed to assume how I was feeling, which helped me learn to articulate and acknowledge my emotions.”
Woman (43 years old), Oregon
“Jasmine was great. She helped us learn how to see how different things that we had went through in life was impacting our relationship. She was patient with us and taught us how to recognize what our needs were and how to ask the other for what we were needing without going into conflict mode. For the first time in years we are actually happy to be together! I’m really glad we were able to work with her! ”
Couple (34 years old and 32 years old), Vancouver, WA